01.23.07
Somebody Goofed
This evening I feel spiritually discouraged. Maybe I don’t even believe in God at all. Or maybe I believe in a nebulous, ill-defined spiritial something-or-other. In any case, I don’t really think I believe in the Bible or in Jesus. See, when I talk about “having doubts” these days I’m not talking about a little nagging in the back of my head. I’m talking about a loud siren blaring that says “Don’t bother! It’s all pretty much crap, and you know it!”
This isn’t the kind of little piddly doubt that I can just persevere through with my little light of faith. This is utter spiritual despair. The entire premise of Christianity seems ludicrous to me. It looks to me like a messianic cult that grew out of Judaism but then was appropriated by Europeans, add two thousand years, and season to taste. The Bible seems unclear at best, and at worst it seems very clear about things I simply cannot believe.
I dunno. Maybe I just need to lay off the Chick tracts.
nimbu said,
January 23, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Dude,
First of all, you’re not alone. There are millions of us (from various faiths) that not only doubt their religious heritage, but have pretty much discounted it. The only think that’s holding this faith together is our connection to our family and our culture. If those were to disappear, it would be much easier to leave these antiquated, bronze-age myths.
The fact is that if you carefully read - don’t just skim through - but really read the Old Testament, the New Testament, The Book of Mormon, the Quran, and others if you like, you will quickly find that they are literally insane. Look at Deuteronomy alone: It’s full of doom and gloom, hatred, bigotry, utter insanity!
Take a look at other religions, like Islam (my former religion) and you will find similar insanity. Some of which is being practiced today!
Your best course of action is to always, ALWAYS QUESTION AUTHORITY!
Good luck.
Here’s a great site, if you’re interested in insane Bible stuff:
http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/
David Johansen said,
January 23, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Look, if it doesn’t make your life any better, don’t do it.
If it does make your life better then do it.
Personally I’ve always found life impossible without faith. Beyond the basic daily rituals like blessing the food, praying before bed, and the like, there is always the pervasive terror that I seem to be overwhelmed by late at night in the dark.
Maybe it’s just in my head, but I pray and there is a white light and the fear melts away. At night, in the dark, I can’t laugh it off or ignore it, the forces of light and dark are very real for me and one would consume me, the other protects. It’s as simple as that.
David
katyjane said,
January 24, 2007 at 9:55 pm
“There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds.” - Alfred Tennyson
I read that and thought of this post.
WhoreChurch said,
January 24, 2007 at 10:25 pm
I came by from My Other Blog is a Porsche to say thanks for the comment and for stopping by. You are, of course, always welcome.
Your post is where many people are today. I am in process of presenting (for my atheist friends) a series of articles documenting object evidence for the efficacy of personal prayer. I think you will find the posts helpful in helping you find evidence for your personal faith.
You can access the first ones here:
http://whorechurch.wordpress.com/2007/01/22/the-day-i-got-fired-was-wednesday/
http://whorechurch.wordpress.com/2007/01/22/the-miracle-of-the-ice-cream-cake/
I will also add you to my blogroll.
riprock said,
January 26, 2007 at 6:35 am
I like the Tennyson quote.
Faith is not essential. IMHO, faith is not to be desired. What *is* to be desired is the right quality and quantity of mystical experience. This varies between individuals.
Sir Jon said,
January 27, 2007 at 2:24 am
While preparing to speak in my church, I came across an article that I think is applicable and may help shed light on your situation.
The full text is included below, but there are many that won’t bother to hit the link, so here’s a quick quote that holds the essence of the message:
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, when there are questions which are unanswered because the Lord hasn’t seen fit to reveal the answers as yet, all such could say, as Abraham Lincoln is alleged to have said, “I accept all I read in the Bible that I can understand, and accept the rest on faith.”
How comforting it would be to those who are the restless in the intellectual world, when such questions arise as to how the earth was formed and how man came to be, if they could answer as did an eminent scientist and devoted Church member. A sister had asked: “Why didn’t the Lord tell us plainly about these things?” The scientist answered: “It is likely we would not understand if he did. It might be like trying to explain the theory of atomic energy to an eight-year-old child.”
Wouldn’t it be a great thing if all who are well schooled in secular learning could hold fast to the “iron rod,” or the word of God, which could lead them, through faith, to an understanding, rather than to have them stray away into strange paths of man-made theories and be plunged into the murky waters of disbelief and apostasy?
I heard one of our own eminent scientists say something to the effect that he believed more professors have taken themselves out of the Church by their trying to philosophize or intellectualize the fall of Adam and the subsequent atonement of the Savior. This was because they would rather accept the philosophies of men than what the Lord has revealed until they, and we, are able to understand the “mysteries of godliness” as explained to the prophets of the Lord and more fully revealed in sacred places.”
http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll?f=templatesfn=default.htm
David Johansen said,
January 27, 2007 at 11:25 am
Nope, not really that’s an attitude that basically makes me want to hurl.
The one reason I can accept any religion at all is because I was born into one that sees the universe as ultimately comprehensible and fathomable. The gospel is simple and rational.
I hate mysticism with a burning passion. I suspect that’s where our blogging friend sits. He’s training to be dispassionate and rational and that makes it pretty darn hard to sit through most Gospel Doctrine and Priesthood lessons.
kullervo said,
January 27, 2007 at 11:41 am
I just don’t think I should have to set reason aside. I don’t want to commit to things that don;t make sense to me unless I have a really, really good reason to do so. And right now I do not.
David Johansen said,
January 27, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Exactly
WhoreChurch said,
January 27, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I just wrote an article some of you may find interesting. Based on the same process Byz is going through, I came up with one possible idea:
Is God Supernatural?
Summary: No, God isn’t supernatural. More later. Good thread.