I’ve been thinking about having my name removed lately. I’ve ben pretty sure for awhile that it’s something I would eventually do, but I wasn’t in a hurry. Really, it’s more than that. Name removal is really the final step in truly leaving Mormonism, and it’s a scary line to cross.
I told myself I’d do it later, for several reasons. If I did it now, I’d be afraid my family would freak out and think I was rushing into things (or out of things, as the case may be). But at the same time, I wonder if it will take something as final as name removal to get my family to take me seriously.
But then, being a member of the Church doesn’t actually hurt me much- I like our home teachers, and we let them visit when they call. The bishop and the missionaries haven’t bothered us for a long time. The only times Mormonism seems to even matter is in family interactions. But there, it’s the elephant in the room.
I resolved some time ago to write an email to my extended family, explaining that I’ve left the Church and it’s not a sensitive topic, so we can feel free to talk about it- I’m a fairly open person after all.
I’m not going anywhere with this, really. I’m not going back to the Church and I don’t know that I want my name on the Church’s records. I’m not really that angry at Mormonism, and I’m even getting less interested in the internet exmo scene. Realizing that I was an ex-Mormon, not just a regular guy, was kind of a big deal. But I wonder if i can just be a regular guy. and I wonder if name removal isn’t the final necessary step to finally leaving Mormonism behind.