So I have issues with Christianity. Last night, while I was out grocery shopping with my lovely wife, who is a committed Christian, I tried to articulate them as well as I could. I felt like I was able to get it all out in a satisfactory way, but now I’m not so sure I can remember them all. I’ll do my best; here they are in no particular order:
1. The Jack Chick problem. Encountering Fundamentalists and many Evangelicals and other Christian-Right-types and their viewpoints completely turns me off to Christianity in general. Without going into too much detail, there are some popular and vocal approaches to Jesus out there that I find actually repulsive, not to mention preposterous. When I read such a viewpoint, for example, it sours me on the whole of Christianity. I do not want to have anything to do with a movement or a religion that spawns that kind of garbage.
Intellectually, I know that those apporaches to Jesus are not exhaustive, they do not by any means necessarily represent the bulk of Christianity. I also know that just because people do ugly things with Christianity, that does not mean that Jesus was wrong or a fake (in fact, there is plenty of scriptural evidence that just saying you’re a Christian doesn’t mean you know Jesus). But those are intellectual qualifications, and my reaction to ugly Christianity is an emotional one, so the intellectual justifications don’t dispel my reservations.
2. Exclusivity. By most accounts, Christianity is exclusive. Jesus is literally God, and he is literally the only way to return to the Father. All other approaches (whether they be Christian heterodoxy or a completely different religion orspiritual path) are either lies or tragic mistakes.
I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, I grew up Mormon, so a literal and exclusive approach to religion is a familiar one, sort of my default setting, and not easy to break out of.
On the other hand, it just doesn’t feel right. For one, the weight of opinion is against Christianity- far more people are and have been something else as opposed to Christians, both now and throughout history. Now, if Christianity is True, then that theoretically shouldn’t matter. If there is such a thing as objective truth independent from peoples’ minds, then that objective truth would probably not be subject to majority decisions. However, it seems a little convenient that the One True Way just happens to be the majority view of the culture I grew up in. Especially when there is no real decisive objective evidence to commend Christianity over any other religion. Maybe there is an objectively True Way, but who says Jesus is it? I feel like claims of objective truth should be backed up by some kind of objective evidence, at least to differentiate them from competing claims of absolute truth.
I also have this sense that applying Christinity to the whole world is not just like trying to make a square peg fit a round hole, but it’s like trying to make a multidimensional polyshape peg fit into a round hole. It seems preposterous. It imposes a simple worldview on an incredibly complex world. I have a hard time swallowing it.
3. Personal Exclusivity. This one is trickier to explain. I want a religion or a faith system that fits all of me. I don’t mean that I am unwilling to change- I certainly would go to great lengths to change my behavior for what I believe. However, like all humans, I am extrordinarily complex. I feel like a religion should speak to every aspect of human existence in a fitting and compelling way, without oversimplifying that which is in no way simple. What I am not willing to do is to abandon entire facets of existence that are irrelevant to a belief system. I will change, but I will not amputate.
I don’t necessarily feel like Christianity “explains it all.” I don’t feel like it fits me like a puzzle piece. Of course, I haven’t found anything else that does, either.
4. Not feeling the Jesus. Finally, I do not feel spiritually compelled to follow Jesus. I find Christianity intellectuallyand even emotionally appealing, and I even find Christianity reasonable, but to me that is not enough. I want to feel a spiritual pull, and I don’t feel it. Furthermore, I do not want to purposely cultivate a spiritual experience in the pursuit of Christianity, because that’s what I did with Mormonism. Having already decided that Mormonism was true, I then went about specifically seeking a spiritual confirmation of that truth. They say “once burned, twice shy,” and that is appropriate here. In the end, I fell away from Mormonism. The connection that I built was not a lasting one. Honestly, I don’t want the same thing to happen ever again. I am not about to head in any direction that I will just abandon in eight months or eight years. And so far, I have nothing to indicate that a decision on my part to commit to Christ and to Christianity will indeed be a lasting one.
Sailing to Byzantium 
For your number 2, I think that Christianity is the round peg that fits into the multidimensional holes–so it fits all the circumstances.
That’s a fair point of view, and if Christianity is true then it much be that way, but I’m just not convinced by it. Even when I want to be.
Regarding point #2: The second part of John Bowker’s rather interesting ‘Is God a Virus?’ (his answer is no, incidentally, or at least, not in the sense that Richard Dawkins would like it to be) has some interesting thoughts on this, based on the idea that different religions can have different and valid ends in sight for humans, and that part of the reason for the existence of so many religions, from his Christian perspective, is that the choice between these is necessary, allowed, and important. (That’s not to say that religious argument is a bad thing, since the possibility of many valid goals in human existence does not entail that all those conceived of exist, and clarification of one’s position is a good end in itself.) He’s attempting to do justice to the differences between religions as well as their similarities, whilst upholding the idea that the different aims of say, Buddhism, and Christianity could possibly co-exist, to an extent. (As do the rather different theories of general relativity and quantum mechanics in physics, for example.) It’s an intriguing viewpoint, with something to recommend it.
I’m doing violence to his position by my paraphrasing of it; the book is worth reading (though the first part is hard going) but long out of print, alas.
(This probably doesn’t help you much on your spiritual quest, though; I’m largely just recommending an interesting book I once read!)
You raised some relevant points regarding the uglier side of Chrsitainity. I would encouage you to visit a church site called ‘themeetinghouse’ (all one word in google). Track down to the sermons – sermon archives and then locate the series on ‘the irreligious life’ There is about 7 sermons in this series you can download in mp3 or ipod. I reslise it is a lot but it covers the distinction between the ugliness of the christian religion and a the core relational faith expereince very well. Happy listening!
I can relate to this. After much study, I discovered that there isn’t anything else out there really.
The core beliefs of Christianity made sense to me but their came a point that I could no longer accept the Bible as God’s Word and then things started to fall apart.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can relate and totally empathize with your issues….many of which I struggled and wrestled with in my search. My thing has always been, “just show me the truth…the real deal” and I’m in it all the way. But knowing what is the real deal can be anything but black and white. After reading your blog (which I’m new to wordpress), it just sounded like the same words I was saying 10 years ago. Let me be honest…I discovered 10 years ago that Jesus is who he says he is. Up to that point, I was asking the same questions you are asking….same issues.
So here’s some thoughts I had while reading your blog:
1. Be careful to following feelings. Our feelings are so easily influenced the simplest of things…..the weather, our diet, sleep pattern, passing thoughts or memories, etc. My feelings don’t always reflect reality. For example, in the frustration of an argument, I may not “feel” love or like my wife. But that doesn’t change the reality that I am married to a wonderful woman who I do love very much. But in that moment, I don’t “feel” it. So I’ve learned to not look for a feeling.
2. Give this a serious thought and be honest: What evidence from God would it take for you to believe? We all desire some sort of evidence….I think even with faith, we need some evidence to encourage that first step (Jesus did that….he did miracles to give people something to step on in making that first step of faith). I’m not for “blind” faith…..God is a God who reveals Himself. So what evidence do you need to really believe? What would it take?
3. There is a flip side to needing certain evidence or signs before saying, “I’m in 100%”. With God, there is this aspect that God holds back until we step toward Him in faith. If we don’t move to Him in faith, then He doesn’t reveal Himself. But the moment we acknowledge who He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him, then He meets us in our step and gives us more. So there is a tough place to be. Needing or demanding evidence before committing to believe, but not being able to get that evidence because our heart is not truly seeking God for Himself. Jesus didn’t do miracles or give evidence to just anybody who demanded it. But He always rewarded (with more evidence) those who acknowledge him for who he says he is. So I guess that’s the starting point….Jesus said, “I am God’s Son.” The starting place is do I truly take Jesus at his word for who he says he is……laying aside the failures of Christians, laying aside my own fears/hurts from passed experiences, laying aside my own expectation for what I want my “spirtuality” to be.
Here’s something to try…..straight up ask Jesus to show you if he is who he says he is. If he is not, then you only talking to yourself in a room. But if he is, then he’s alive and you’ll be talking straight to him. And then give it some time and thought. One warning though: be sure to check your heart. For if in your heart, you are truly seeking the truth to know God, then He will lead you to Himself….but only if your heart is truly honest and geniune in seeking to know the truth (and willing to surrender all if it is true). BUT if your heart is not really seeking God but rather wanting to assemble a spiritual/moral/religious system that fits life the way you want/percieve it, then I’m afraid you may not find what you are looking for.
I apologize for the lengthy comment. I admire your willingness to share and your honestly to seek the truth. I’m am not trying to persuade you in any way, but simply sharing my experience…hoping it’s helpful for you in your life.
1. I realize that feelings (i.e. emotions) are a bad and unreliable basis for truth- that’s one reason i left Mormonism. But when I’m talking about “feeling” something, I don’t necessarily mean emotionally.
2. I don’t know. But something more than what I’ve got. Right now I have absolutely no good reason to choose Christianity, or anything else for that matter. The only factors even coming into play are things like familiarity, the culture I was born into, and what is interesting to me. I am unsatisfied with making such an important decision based on factors like those. I need a reason to choose Christianity before I commit myself to it. I’ve read the Bible more than once (well, I’ve read the OT only once, but I’ve read the NT a number of times), but the fact that “it says it in the Bible” is not good enough. I’m not picking Islam based on what it says in the Qur’an, and I’m not picking Hinduism based on what it says in the Bhagavad Gita. A book is just a book unless it it backed up by something.
3. I want to know what is true, if there is such a thing. Barring that, I want to know what is right for me. If it’s Christianity, then I’m willing to go in despite my hangups. Even if it means going back to Mormonism, I’ll do it. But I need some kind of guidance beyond my own abilities.
That is the great thing about God…He is the one who gives us guidance outside of our abilities! So after reading through the NT, what has been your general response to what you read?
I agree…I too couldn’t accept something just because the book said it. I needed something to back it up. For me, I ask Jesus to make himself real to me (if he was really alive….as he claimed he would be). Well, he did. So it was my personal experiences with Jesus that backed up what the Bible for me. Once Jesus assured me that what he said was true, then that gave me the evidence and backup to trust the rest of the Bible.
[…] have discussed my concerns with Christianity at length elsewhere, so I won’t do it again here. I should probably discuss my concerns with Druidry, but I […]
I also have a problem with the whole heaven and hell thing. Especially, hell. The thought that God would send people into eternal misery for any reason is simply aggressive. No wonder we are such a violent culture.
Well, I said it before, but here’s the thing: no matter how wicked and depraved we are, no matter how much evil we do in this life, no matter how hard we try, the amound of bad we can do is ultimately finite. it might be huge, but it is finite.
So it wouldn;t be just of God at all to turn us over to never-ending punishment, in other words, to give us infinite punishment for finite wrongdoing. Even the most strict sense of justice rejects such a setup.
the amound of bad we can do is ultimately finite
Yes. Exactly. That is the key insight of Universalism.