Like most people, I think, I don’t like to be pigeonholed. I don’t like people to assume things about me based on single facts, observations, or labels.
Yeah, I left the Mormon church. I didn’t “get offended,” I didn’t commit adultery, and I was absolutely committed to the Church in a lifelong sense before I left (i.e. I wasn’t a fair-weather Mormon). Many of my problems with Mormonism aren’t the same as other peoples’ problems with it. I’m not a bitter, angry anti-Mormon, though sometimes I am bitter and angryabout some things, sure. I’m not an ex-Mormon caricature.
No, I don’t believe in God right now. That doesn’t mean I think Richard Dawkins is a prophet. It doesn’t mean I’m angry or I hate God or anything. It also doesn’t mean it’s a done deal. I don’t really want to stay an atheist. I never did. If I can find a way to believe in God and still feel like I’m being intellectually and emotionally honest with myself, I will probably return to theism. If not, I will probably stick with atheism. Whatever your official definition of “atheism” is, and whether or not you think I should really be classed as an agnostic, is completely irrelevant to me. I don’t affirmatively believe in God because I do not recognize any affirmaitve evidence for God (even subjective evidence). I’m not an atheist caricature, and I’m also not a very good poster child for the journey into atheism, because I don’t necessarily plan on sticking around anyway.
And when I was a Mormon, I wasn’t a stereotypical Mormon. I believed that homosexual marriage should be legal. I had my own spin and my own interpretation for many doctrines. I strongly disliked some of the General Authorities (Gene R. Cook, I’m lookin’ at you). My gut always leaned in a little more of a pluralist direction than the party line espoused. I was never interested in the Work and the Glory, and I thought a lot of Mormon art, music, and film was really, really lame.
If I become a Christian, I won’t be a stereotypical Christian. I won’t be a fundamentalist caricature. I won’t blithely abandon rational thought. I won’t start lobbying for the Ten Commandments to be put up in courtrooms. I’ll never claim that I can logically prove Christianity. I won’t start reading Left Behind books. I probably won’t vote Republican. I certainly will never believe in Hell.
The thing is, I shouldn’t have to feel like I have to qualify myself like that. I wish I could just say “I don’t believe in God” and then enter into a real dialogue where people actually listen to what I am saying instead of assuming they know where i’m coming from already. Especially since I’d just as soon believe in God. I’d prefer to be religious, actually. But when I tell people I don’t believe in God, they either 1) assume that I’m a Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris clone and begin to argue with me or write me off accordingly, 2) try to convince me that I should label myself differently than I do because they don’t agree with my definitions, or 3) congratulate me heartily on growing up and leaving silly religion behind. None of those approaches comes close ot the mark, and all of them subtly influence how I perceive myself. So like I said, I’m mildly irked.
Sailing to Byzantium 
As a person of interest who mentioned “the Dawkins” today I’d like to personally apologize if my comments irked you in any way intentionally or unintentionally. =)
A very thoughtful and interesting post.
Dando- I knew you’d be worried that I was talking about you, but I certainly wasn’t singling you out or anything. I’ll admit that your comment was the catalyst for the thought, but in a sense I’m glad for it because it helped me articulate my feelings on the matter. Anyway, no apology is necessary.
Be advised- I don’t reject or loathe Richard Dawkins either. I think he’s fairly brilliant in his sphere, but it apears that “relating to other people” might not be “his sphere.” Being a jerk just ticks people off.
1. For the record, I’ve read the Work and the Glory books, and I wasn’t a typical Mormon either. But the books were really good. 🙂 And, when I read them I became much more interested in Church history. The books are better than the movies.
2. I’ve read many of the Left Behind books, and I found them enjoyable too.
3. I’m also not a caricature Christian, and I was never a caricature Mormon.
(just sayin’) lol!
Consider me properly rebuked. 🙂