I’m trying to work through some things, some concerns and difficult Christianity issues, and I’m not finding an easy resolution to any of it. In the meantime, it’s leaving me feeling extremely vulnerable. Small.
My problem is this- I want to follow Jesus, but I don’t know the right way to do it. I’m looking for spirituality, doctrine, theology, community, practice, a way of life, faith, the whole thing, but I’m not finding any of it. And it leaves me with an uncertainty that’s almost as bad as the uncertainty I struggled with about the existence of God and whether I believed anything at all.
Sailing to Byzantium 
“some concerns and difficult Christianity issues, and I’m not finding an easy resolution to any of it.”
I hate to give you a cliche here, but I’ve found that answers easily arrive at are usually never good ones. I am praying for you. I hope you find a good minister in the area to speak with.
Thanks, and I agree with you on the easy answers thing.
Hi Kullervo… while my path has been different from yours, I can really relate to what you’re going through. I don’t have answers, but I have found this quote from the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke comforting on this uncertain path:
“…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Best wishes.
I’ve been where you are now. The best I can give is to stop searching for the “right” things to believe, and try to just figure out what you personally believe right now. You don’t need to consult anyone else to know what you actually believe deep down. Learn to trust yourself. Even if you end up being wrong, or changing your mind, at least you can say you were being honest with yourself. I’ve found that to be immensely important.
I can’t debate a lot of things, but the one thing I do know…when you find the right place to be there will be total peace.
Try not to get too hung up on ‘getting it right.’ The Pharisees were… didn’t go over too well for them. I really feel that it all comes down to the two greatest commandments: Love God. Love people. The rest is details. Now, I understand the need to hash out what those details will be and how to flesh out your journey right now. Just know that His grace really is sufficient and however you pursue Him, He is pleased.
Thanks beingmade; you always have something really good to say.