Sorry, this is kind of two posts in one.
I’ve been struggling with belief and faith lately. My wife and I are attending an Episcopal parish, but we’re still not sure if it’s the place for us. I am strongly attracted to the Episcopal form of worship, but the attitude and the sermons always reflect a kind of “Religion Lite.” It seems like every sermon is about how the Gospel reading isn’t as radical as it sounds, how it doesn’t really invite you to totally change your way of life, but is just telling you to think happy thoughts and keep on living the basically good life you’re living.
I don’t feel Challenged, invited to be more like Jesus and live a radically different kind of existence. I don’t feel like this parish is about transforming us into New People, but telling us we’re fine the way things are. It seems a little empty.
At the same time, I’m struggling with Christianity as a whole. Do I really believe in Jesus at all, or do I just like Christianity? There’s a big difference between the two, and unfortunately I think I may just like Christianity. I’m not sure what to do about it.
Sailing to Byzantium 
I know that as my wife and I have looked for churches we have left many because of the lite preaching. What is the use of it if there is no challenge? Should not the word challenge us to live a better life? That is what I think.
As for your struggles – keep searching. Listen to your heart. I have heard it said that the greastest champions of faith go through the longest dry times. Good luck.
http://struggleswithfaith.wordpress.com
They say you will never find a perfect church because they all are made up of people, but it is certainly possible to find a church where you can be continually amazed by the “radical” truth of the gospel and encouraged to become more like Jesus and to keep Him as your first love. I’m praying for you and Katy, and I miss your regular blogging.
I’m wondering if our best choice might be to go to a couple of different churches. Cedar Ridge had stellar sermons. I left there and wanted to change my life, my person, my way of thinking, everything. I’ve become a much better person and a much better person because of the awareness that that church brought into my life.
At the same time, I didn’t feel an enormous sense of worship there. While the praise music is nice, I like traditional hymns. While I’m not wild about spoken liturgy, I do like the constancy and the traditional feeling and ‘old school’ type approach. And the people that go to the Episcopal parish we’ve been attending are such nice, good people.
So, maybe we switch off weeks?
This is such a difficult question. Jim is right that there is no perfect church. But even in less than perfect churches we can find ways to establish relationships and pour ourselves out.
One thing you might consider is supplementing your church’s preaching with some good podcasts. I for one, enjoy downloading RockHarbor’s sermons.
Welcome to the Episcopal Wishy Washy Wimpy Church!
I’m interested to hear you say you’re more attracted to Christianity than Jesus. Does that mean you’re comfortable with the religious practices of Christianity but an actual relationship with a personal Jesus seems distant and unpractical? Or something else entirely?
I think Aaron has a least a good short term fix. You can download the sermons from Cedar Ridge.
This reminds me of something amusing an Episcopal friend said. “The Episcopalianism is Catholicism-lite: all the sin and half the guilt.” It’s just a joke. I don’t know enough to make that judgment.
Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with just liking Christianity rather than believing in it. It might make it hard to feel a sense of community with your church, but if you can’t completely believe in Jesus but still like going to church, who’s going to judge you for where you choose to spend your time? Doesn’t this describe most Unitarian Universalists?
Kullervo, its interesting that you phrase it that you may believe in Christianity and not Jesus. What do you mean by that?
That you are asking the questions about finding a church and teaching that challenges you and spurs you to live a more radical life like Jesus seems to indicate to me that you are actually more concerned with Jesus than Christianity. I guess that is both an encouragement and question from me.
Kullervo,
Very interesting blog. Thanks for all your thoughts and honesty. I stopped attending church at the end of 2006. I attend a Unitarian Universalist congregation now. It’s always really interesting to hear other people’s experiences. My wife took everything amazingly well. She’s obviously bummed, but our marriage wasn’t built on the Mormon faith, it was built on trust, work, friendship, and love. We’re doing OK. My parents took it really, really hard. They recently returned from a mission in central America. Talk about blessings for your family while you’re gone, eh?
I hear what you’re saying with Christianity. I share the same feelings. Part of it, to put it rather bluntly, is just social and intellectual capital, isn’t it? I’ve invested TONS of time and energy into learning Christianity. I’m familiar with it, I know it, I appreciate and admire elements of it. It’s comfortable, familiar. Why throw that away? I am truly agnostic in every sense of the word. I believe that there is no way of knowing whether God and Jesus exist, and I don’t think it’s all that important to know. There are so many more important things for me to do in my life right now. But the idea of God and Jesus are powerful real, and can have power. I don’t really believe in God, but I believe that all life is connected and has a spiritual basis, even if it’s not supernatural. I don’t care whether Jesus was real or not, but I think that he had wonderful teachings and was a wonderful example.
Unitarian Universalism has its roots in Christianity, but is not Christian today. Sometimes I miss a more explicitly Christian style of worship. I’m thinking of trying out an Episcopalian service sometime. I went to a United Church of Christ service and liked it. But I like Unitarian Universalism because I have to reach out of my Christian comfort-zone to consider other religious traditions and other viewpoints, and I feel that it’s more fitting for my agnosticism.