Tonight, while Katie L., Ms. Jack, and my beautiful and sexy wife Katyjane all gather to cause extreme trouble at my house in Chicago, I will not be there.
Instead, I will be rocking the fuck out at the encore showing of The Big Four from Sonisphere, Bulgaria. Anthrax, Megadeth, Metallica and Slayer–the Big Four of thrash metal–all performing on the same stage for the first time ever. They’re not doing any US shows, but they did show it in theaters here on Tuesday, and they’re showing it again tonight.
So while epic polygamy Jesus assassin wife history is being made at my house, I will instead be witnessing epic metal history.
In all seriousness, hard rock and heavy metal are spiritually significant to me. Want to feel the sublime essence of Dionysus? Go to a metal show and get lost in that energy. It’s awesome.
Sailing to Byzantium 
Oliver says you shouldn’t say “fuck”. Or “die” (…onysus).
Just sayin’.