As I mentioned earlier this year, I am officiating at my sister-in-law’s wedding. To this end, I have written a nice, broadly nonsectarian spiritual-but-not-religious ceremony (from which I will post excerpts probably after the wedding), and I have done a bit of work to look the part. I bought a black suit (I needed a new suit anyway, as I am in a suit-wearing career), and even a clergy shirt with a tab collar (from Mercy Robes–great people to deal with by the way).
I’m not going to lie; I look smashing in my clerical duds, but I used the phrase “look the part” intentionally above. In my black suit and clergy collar, I don’t feel like a cleric; I feel like I am wearing a cleric’s costume. And I don’t want to feel like that, because all silliness aside, I take this kind of thing seriously. I’m not going to be playing a priest on TV; I am a priest. I don’t need an organization to validate my faith or my earnestness in acting in the name of the gods, and even if I did, I’ve got that in the bag.
What’s missing from the equation is my faith. Now, the wedding is not about me, and to my knowledge, nobody at this wedding shares my spiritual leanings to even the remotest degree. But if I’m going to perform the ceremony, my authority comes from my gods, whether I name them by name or not.
So to tack a short ending on a long story, I talked my mother into making me a clerical stole to wear over my black suit, in plain white, with peacock feathers for Hera, the goddess of marriage. I will be in her service when I perform this wedding, and I want to show it. But subtly, and tastefully. Because it’s not my wedding, after all. But if anybody asks, I’ll not hesitate to tell them: peacock feathers are a symbol of Hera, the goddess of marriage. But it doesn’t need to go further than that. The gods are a part of all of our cultural heritage, whether we call ourselves pagans or not.
So here’s my stole. It was sweet of my mother to make it for me, and on insanely short notice. She is both talented and skilled. The picture quality s not fantastic, but I will post a picture of me all dressed up soon.
Thanks, Mom.
Sailing to Byzantium 
Very cool stole! I think it’s a very tasteful nod to your beliefs, I can’t imagine anyone feeling like that detail steals their thunder, and the great thing about peacock feathers is that shimmer goes great with so many other colors. I did not remember until this post about Hera being the goddess of marriage. I am getting married myself next year (well, socially and spiritually married, we’re already legally married for health insurance) and I’ve been looking all over for ideas about the ceremony. I would say I’m pagan-ish, enough to maybe make use of some of your ideas (also liked your post on Ares), so thank you! I also have been enjoying reading through some of the posts over at Burning at the Stake, glad I stumbled upon you.
This is lovely and a great way to honor Hera and the marriage!
This is one of the cooler things I’ve read all day. Really awesome stuff! Thanks for sharing it, and good luck at the wedding!
Thanks, everyone!
[…] Taken by my 5-year old son at the wedding I performed a few weeks ago. At the reception, after the ceremony, once I had changed out of my regalia. […]
What a beautiful stole! I am impressed that your mom has the skill to do that. The peacock feathers were a great touch. I can sew a little if I have to, but I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything I’d make myself. lol