I Think You Mean Good Vicar

Hat tip to Gundek.

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Name Removal

I’ve been thinking about having my name removed lately.  I’ve ben pretty sure for awhile that it’s something I would eventually do, but I wasn’t in a hurry.  Really, it’s more than that.  Name removal is really the final step in truly leaving Mormonism, and it’s a scary line to cross.

I told myself I’d do it later,  for several reasons.  If I did it now, I’d be afraid my family would freak out and think I was rushing into things (or out of things, as the case may be).  But at the same time, I wonder if it will take something as final as name removal to get my family to take me seriously.

But then, being a member of the Church doesn’t actually hurt me much- I like our home teachers, and we let them visit when they call.  The bishop and the missionaries haven’t bothered us for a long time.  The only times Mormonism seems to even matter is in family interactions.  But there, it’s the elephant in the room.

I resolved some time ago to write an email to my extended family, explaining that I’ve left the Church and it’s not a sensitive topic, so we can feel free to talk about it- I’m a fairly open person  after all.

I’m not going anywhere with this, really.  I’m not going back to the Church and I don’t know that I want my name on the Church’s records.   I’m not really that angry at Mormonism, and I’m even getting less interested in the internet exmo scene.  Realizing that I was an ex-Mormon, not just a regular guy, was kind of a big deal.  But I wonder if i can just be a regular guy.  and I wonder if name removal isn’t the final necessary step to finally leaving Mormonism behind.

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A Little Disappointed

Maybe this is unreasonable of me, since I have no intention of going back anyway, but it actually bothers me that the missionaries haven’t showed up since my wife and I stopped going to the Mormon church.  I even saw them in our building one time, and I totally expected them to at least drop by and say “hi.”  I mean, we’re less-actives in their area!  Don’t they have an area book or at least a ward roster that they’ve gone over with their Ward Mission Leader to see who they can visit?

The last time I heard from missionaries was in December, around Christmas.  They called a couple of times trying to set up appointments.  They claimed that they were new to the ward and just trying to meet all of the members in their area.  I told them to cut the crap- we all knew that my wife and I hadn’t been to church in months and that was the reason they wanted to visit.  The missionary on the phone played innocent and wounded, but the insincerity was tangible.  That’s the one thing that really bugs me the most about the Mormon missionary program- it tends to foster really insincere behavior on the missionaries’ part.

Anyway, I told them it would probably be a waste of time for them to visit, but that I would talk to my wife and see if there was a time that would be good.  I don’t think they ever called back.  I was just being honest; I was a missionary myself, and I promise that it is extremely unlikely that a missionary is going to say something that would make me suddenly change my mind about the church.  And their sweet spirit isn’t going to do it either since I’m 1) very suspicious about making life decisions based on warm fuzzies that someone else interprets for me and 2) I know they’re doing everything they can to cultivate that sweet spirit, and some of it is genuine, and someof it isn’t.

In any case, we would be happy to feed them and chatand whatever, but probably it wouldn;t be worth the missionaries’ time, unless they just needed ot get in some reactivation hours to report back to the mission president.  Maybe I was too aggressive or forceful about it, and they wrote “wants no contact” in their area book.

In any case, it bothers me.  Maybe it shouldn’t, like I said, since I really have no intention of going back to Mormonism, but to me it makes the whole missionary program seem hypocritical.  Aren’t they suposed to at least be trying?

We haven’t heardfrom the bishop in months, either.  Our home teachers call every now and then, but  that’s it.  They’re good guys, and we’re happy to have them visit.  We had some friends in the ward, but they moved.  Our babysitter is a new member, but that doesn’t really count.

I’m just saying, it seems for all the bluster of saving sould and perfecting the saints and whatnot, that our ward and the missionaries seem perfectly happy to let us fall between the cracks.  That’s what bothers me. I don’t want to stay in the church, but it’s kindof insulting to have nobody even care when I leave.

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