State Of Mind

We went to Cedar Ridge Community Church church again today. It was good. My only criticism of the church is that, although it tries to retain some of Christian tradition in the liturgy and communion, I feel like the service is too far on the contemporary side of the traditional-contemporary spectrum.

It’s not that I don’t like singing praise music with the band, but it’d be nice to sing some traditional hyms as well, or to hear beautiful singing from a choir. The praise-band thing is not a terrible idea, but it seems ultimately like sort of a religious one-trick pony. There’s no rule that says it has to be all one way or all the other, so why not do some of both? There’s so much richness to draw on in Christianity, and I feel like Cedar Creek sometimes fails to make use of all the wonderful options. At least, based on the three times I’ve gone there.

The flip side to all of this is that more and more I’m just not sure if I really can believe in anything at all. I’m not interested in dogmatic atheism or even any kind of strict materialism. I have no problem intellectually beliveing that there is some kind of Divine, or Spiritual, or God even. In fact, I can do more than intellectually believe; I actually feel that there is something more than the Profane world.

But that’s as far as I get. Everything else is limited to either purely intellectual acceptance, or it’s capricious, like a temporary phase (one day I’m on fire for Jesus, the next day I’m ice cold, etcetera). And I’m not satisfied with either one of those as a basis for faith and/or religious belief in my life.